Maybe We're Not Supposed to Have It All Figured Out

Are our twenties supposed to be the best years of our life?

I think it’s a combination of figuring out who you are, what you want to do with your life all while enjoying the little moments that don’t always feel so little. 

But somewhere along the way, society convinced us that we should have our lives figured out by our mid twenties.

Excuse my language but thank fuck I’m only 23! 

Not too long ago, my biggest worry was if the class I wanted would still be available come time for class registration. 

Now, my mom is telling me I need to get my own dental insurance??

What happened to being on my parents’ plan until I’m 26?? When the hell did I grow up?

We’ve been fed the stupid trajectory cliche, “1. Get good grades 2. Go to college 3. Get a good job 4. Find a husband 5. Have kids.”

But is that seriously all life is about?

We go to work. We do our jobs. And then it’s over. We’re here and then we’re gone. And I don’t know how anyone thinks we’re meant to live like this.

Surely, there’s more to this, right?

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was grow up. And sure, I grew up, but I’m still a baby, going to my mom with endless questions about this adult life I entered after graduation. 

And because I’m not 30 yet, I can’t really tell you what you’re supposed to figure out in your 20s, but what I can tell you is that you should make the most of them. Even when you have no idea what you’re doing. 

Because do any of us really? 

There are days where I fucking love my life and then days where I want to cry (and I do) because I have no idea what I’m doing. Or who I even am. 

I landed a job one month post grad after freaking out about what life would look like after college, I make solid money for someone my age, and you can find me in Florida at least once a month, or in Europe. Really just depends on the timing!

BUT

Those days where I want to cry because of the crippling anxiety and sick to my stomach feelings because I have no idea what it is I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life.

How does anyone know what they want to do with their life? I have friends who are in law school and others in PA school.

Like how did you know that’s what you wanted to do?

And this is where I feel so behind because it’s like that TikTok song “What was I made for?” Do you know which sound I’m talking about? 

I think about going back to school but the loans I’d have to take out. I considered law school for all of maybe a week until seeing what my sister was going through. 

One Alberti in law school is enough! Don’t believe me? Just come over while she’s in semester. She’s a grand ole time!

And so even when my neck gets super hot because I’m panicking about my future, I also have to remember I made it this far. It’s okay to not have one fixed path. It’s okay to want more than one thing. You’re not confused or lost just because your heart pulls you in different directions – you’re human. And being human means growing, shifting, and learning. 

You’re becoming. 

Our lives are swimming with opportunities. Don’t squander them.

So while it seems like we have to rush to find that final version of you, I think our twenties are about exploration, finding out what we like and don’t like. Messing up a lot and learning from those mistakes and then even making more mistakes.

So if you’re in your twenties, like me, feeling lost at times, just know it’s okay. It’s normal. You aren’t alone.

The most important thing is to not stress out about the future. Stop and look around and be more present. We’ll never get back those small moments with our friends and family.

It will get better because it always does.

We’re all on our own train (because I get sick on rollercoasters) and we can’t beat ourselves up because we have unlimited time to become whoever we want to be!

Still figuring out life, but sure, let’s talk retirement,

Gianna